Factors to be mentally strong (part II) !!!
At times it is essential to train our mind to be stronger than our emotions or else we will lose to ourselves every time.
In the previous blog, we saw two significant factors that a strong-minded person will possess.
1. Embracing change
2. Establishing boundaries
Here is the link to the blog.
Now, let’s jump into the other three important factors.
3. Embracing failure: Embracing failure can be done in four steps. Let’s take a deeper look at the four stages.
There is no individual who wouldn’t have faced even the smallest failure.
Now, how does it usually feel when someone fails?
Months back a friend of mine, who took part in the State level women’s badminton tournament, lost in the semi-final match. Here, before the match, she didn’t have a mindset that if she loses, she should not feel bad about it. After the match, she felt bad and eventually cried.
So, it is very normal to feel bad and even cry.
When we fail, people around us often remind us about our mistakes, although we are aware of them. A few may do it deliberately to make us feel low, a few may pinpoint them to ensure that we are aware of it and a few make a very hilarious situation out of it. Such people are definitely our close friends who make fun of us in a good way :P
In such circumstances when we are reminded of our failures, we tend to move out of that situation or change the topic or it instigates us to fight with the opposite person. This leads to frustration and that indeed results in a restless mind. Thus, to have a peaceful mind and make clear decisions, the 1st step would be to FACE the failure.
Now, what next??
After facing it, the 2nd step would be to ACCEPT IT. But rather than accepting, we tend to give unlimited excuses and play the blaming game.
When the facing part is done, one can go to the root of the failure to examine it like a scientist. Most importantly, the examining part should be unbiased. If we think in a way of ‘Why I failed’, that ‘I’ will certainly give numerous reasons or blame someone else or run away from the situation.
The best way to remain unbiased and know the reason for the failure is by detaching ourselves from the entire scene and be a spectator (with a second or third-person perspective).
The 3rd step would be learning from our mistakes. Yes, to an extent the success/failure matters but another pivotal aspect is how we are growing in life internally and with how much clarity we look at things after encountering a failure.
If facing, accepting and learning from the negative outcome is done properly, you will become a newer version of yourself each time.
Now, moving to the last step is to grow out of it.
Well, an immediate question must have come into mind which is …. how?
It is normal for anyone to set a goal and work towards it. Setting a goal is done to achieve it. But once we achieve it, we go into our comfort zone and relax for the next few days at least. But to grow, it would be ideal to have a purpose.
For instance, if the goal is to finish a project, we become relaxed with its completion. Nevertheless, if the purpose of the project is to keep enhancing it as and when it is developed no matter if the idea works out completely or not, we will not go into the comfort zone, but just grow.
Therefore, when we define a purpose (which is to keep enhancing it), failure will not stop us but it will help us explore new approaches and grow. Thus, these are the four key things that can be done to embrace failure.
4. Self-love: Self-love doesn’t mean the freedom to do whatever we want to do or what our mind tells us to do. Especially the things that may harm us.
Maintaining our mind and body to always be healthy, automatically boosts up our confidence, be it any work or relationship we are in. It gives a very good amount of energy and a person will never tend to doubt their abilities.
Here, if our purpose to do certain things is to maintain a healthy mind and body, that is termed self-love. However, if we are using ourselves to obtain certain pleasures that are unpleasant for our mind and body, then that cannot be self-love.
We might be in an assumption that we are in self-love, but if our actions are causing damage to our mind and health, then we are cheating ourselves by being in an illusionary state.
For instance, if a person convinces his mind that he is in self-love but continues to smoke daily despite knowing the fact about the harm it can do to the body, then that person is using his body to get the pleasure of smoking. Ideally, the person is not in self-love, however, he is in love with the pleasure that is risking his life.
In a nutshell, self-love is being self-disciplined that brings only positive outcomes to our minds and health.
5. Power of sacrifice: People who are well versed in human psychology know that sacrifice builds resilience. It makes a person strong to recover quickly from difficult situations. With that resilience builds strength, strength builds power and finally, power gives a purpose.
Be it any sacrifice, it will certainly hold a purpose.
For instance, a foodie (who consumes all kinds of junk food) when decides to focus on health, will have to undergo a lot of change. The change has to be implemented in both physical routines and on the food that they consume. It is said that a proper workout and healthy diet should go hand in hand which results in good health.
Here the person who has prepared his/her mind to undergo this change is sacrificing their old lifestyle.
One classic example would be Virat Kohli and his transformation. A person who loves eating and used to eat a lot of junk food began to love having well-cooked food. With sacrifice, discipline comes automatically.
Things to ponder upon and better late than never!
